A Safe Place To Hurt

May 12, 2010

Last night was my yoga class.  It is always, always, always exceptional…. in no small part to my yoga teacher Yvonne (Namaste to you… you are changing the world, one dharma, one pose, one OM at a time). Sometimes it is so hard.  Sometimes I just seem to flow through the class with ease and grace.  Sometimes it is painful in a deep and sorrowful way.  No matter which of those it is, it always teaches me. 

 Last night was exceptional to the max.  Our dharma (lesson) was about taking in  (inhaling) what we would like to bring into our lives, and pushing out (exhaling) what no longer serves us.  Exhaling those old scars, stories, tapes, fears that have buried themselves deeply inside.  There was an intensity in the room.  Some of us were exhilarated.  Others exhausted. And, some of us were in pain.  Throughout the class I could hear quiet tears flowing and at times deep sobbing. During one pose, hearing that sorrow, I caught a glimpse of something extraordinary. There was my wonderful, wise teacher, with her arms wrapped around a sobbing young woman – not trying to fix it, not trying to make anything better.   My teacher just sat there and loved a hurting woman, as she continued to lead us through our asanas.  She didn’t back off.  She didn’t get distracted.  What she did, what she helped us all do, was create a space for pain, and hurt and grief and growth. All that that sweet young woman needed, all she was asking for, was a safe place to hurt. 

 Pain is a part of life.  I think every woman alive has more than her fair share of pain. We often give more than we should, listen longer, love deeper, shore up, hold back, put off what we long for, in service to others.  What we need, what we can provide for one another, is a safe place to hurt, to express, to grieve;  just a safe place to be until we can catch our breath, and find our way to solid footing.  Sometimes pain teaches us.  Sometimes it leads us further into who we are and who we can become.  And, sometimes we can’t see any greater or higher purpose.  We just hurt.

 Let us be a safe place for one another.  Let us be a safe place to hurt.

7 Responses to “A Safe Place To Hurt”

  1. melody Says:

    This is my new mantra! THANK YOU!!

  2. Jean Gale Says:

    Bless you – you & your words give that safe place.

  3. Lisa Kaser Says:

    This was exceptional and profound. It takes great insight and eloquence in communication to relay something like this. Wonderfully done!

  4. Lisa RV Says:

    Thank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt story. I often have students in my health class tell me very painful personal stories and it is good to remember that giving them the safe space to express themselves, and their pain, is so important.

  5. Hollye Dexter Says:

    This is beautiful, and of course just what I needed to hear at just the right moment.
    Sending you love.

  6. Molly Says:

    Thank you one and all. It does seem that the words, the teaching, the gesture, the look, the person… that we need shows up when needed.

    Women need one another… period!

    Love and blessings.


  7. Carol Bernal Says:


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