July 15, 2010

Friends and readers…a while back I asked women to send me the one word that best described their feelings of SELF at this mid stage of life. The most common word I received was INVISIBLE. We need to corporately change this notion. Women are nurturing, compassionate, reliable. We have an innate understanding of cooperation, grace and tolerance. The world is dying for the very essence of what it means to be a woman. A dear friend and amazing talent sent me the following. Prepare to be inspired.

Cloak and Dagger
Invisibility? Everyone has felt invisible or wished to be invisible, for one reason or another. Perhaps they are insecure, or feeling particularly vulnerable during a period of time and want to disappear. These are not reasons I would wish to be invisible.

I never felt unheard, or ignored. I’ve always had a roar inside me, and I’ve not been afraid to make it known. During my current mid-life experience, I often have moments which I believe are true epiphanies – moments when I really ‘get it.’ People tend to  over complicate  issues, relationships and our life experiences instead of just ‘being.’ I always remember my French lessons, and the term ‘être’ – the most important verb, meaning “to be.”

My desire for invisibility stems from interactions I have with people that just don’t get it. I feel frustration about trivialities that are made into huge issues. No point. I prefer to detach myself from this, and just observe. Really, more often than not, I would rather simply read a book, or write in a journal, if given a choice.

Life is fleeting, and every moment must count. Effort is often needed; sometimes there are big things that must be attended to and handled with care and concern. Real issues. It is the nonsense that is overwhelming, and the fact that one’s insight may often be totally disregarded. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and it doesn’t matter if you are 16, 25, 46, 60 or 80 years old. The true tragedy is that life passes so quickly, and time is so intangible. In the world we live in, everything is intangible.

It’s easier to email than to pick up a telephone or visit someone; digital pictures can be lost forever with a computer malfunction. Entertainment has morphed into reality TV – essentially spying on someone’s false life – talent is ignored, people no longer need to create. Music is played on guitar hero, rather than with a guitar in hand and working out a tune.

My solution to this madness is to become invisible to the falseness to which we are now conditioned, to march truly to the beat of my own drum. Not worrying about conforming to someone else’s ideas or expectations, but just to be. Être.

Give me that cloak!

lisa kendigian

3 Responses to “INVISIBILITY”

  1. Carol Bernal Says:

    Wow. I have to say on many points here, I do disagree. I must be among the “just don’t get it” group.
    Even in times of reclusivity and despair, I have known that tolerance and creativity exist. The challenge for the moment was to be immersed in the feelings I was having, so I could move through and past them. They were necessary. In everyday life- yes, we are being inundated with cyber technology and reality TV, but these too are both creative and revealing. What was real about June and Ward Cleaver? Very few households during the 50s operated in such a utopian millieu.
    The challenges (let’s call them extreme sports)in later years life come from interacting with some of these “trivial players”- to gently infuse a bit of wisdom into their vision of life. Of course, it can be frustrating- that’s why we have comedy. Take XXXXXX News for example. Do I agree with the polarized opinions-no, but it is necessary to know what they are to engae in debate, and make choices based on both points of view.
    I have rarely felt invisible, rarely. And it saddens me that so many women responded with that word. We are here for a blink. Here to love and make a difference. Here to make our voices known. The only time you should want to be invisible is when you are delivering flowers and soup to a sick freind’s porch or sending money to a just cause. LOVE,

  2. that is why you are constantly inspiring to inspire. Your life and attitude light up the world around you. You see and care for those who feel invisible and you put a bright red hat with feathers on their heads.

  3. gayle Says:

    I think it is not so much as feeling “invisable.” but people thinking that you are invisable. All of a sudden b/c you are over 40, your opinons don’t count anymore. I think that if the younger generation would stop and realize that it is in fact that older generation that gave them their values and morales and sense of being, then and only then will that feeling of invisabiltiy be lifted off our shoulders. Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and then die with dignity and respect.

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