Say What You Mean…Mean What You Say

November 28, 2012

Molly and I recently had the opportunity to speak at the 2012 Women At Woodstock Conference. While it is always a privilege to do our work and teach the things we are so passionate about, one of our greatest joys comes from who we meet and what we learn from them.

This was an exceptional gathering of women. The following article was written by one.

Thank you Janet.

 

……this comes from a workshop that I attended during the Women at Woodstock 2012 retreat by a couple of spectacular gals from Matters that Matter.  You know that instance when you’re asked for something and you DON’T say what you really want to.  Well, that happened to me.  It’s happened in the past.  I am learning.  I am learning that you can’t always be prepared for what comes your way.  I am learning that what you think “should” happen isn’t always what does happen.  When I think of things that matter, and how I could say things when I want them to matter, I think of that workshop.

We don’t always get rehearsal time.  What happens when someone throws a curve ball our way?  Do we dodge it?  Do we get hit by it?  Do we catch it and run, or swing and hit?  Clearly this is all metaphorical, but what do you do?  Think on that for a sec; one instance where someone “hit” you with something you didn’t expect, and what you do when they do.

I know what I used to do, and I know what I try to do now.  I used to catch it and run, or in other words, absorb what was given and do whatever it takes to make the situation better, or make it go away, or eventually make it so every one involved is as happy with the results as possible.  Whoa.  That was a lot of energy.

Here’s what I try to do now.  I think on things for a bit.  Sometimes I’m annoyed at how long I think about things but that’s in my DNA:)   Then, and most importantly, I say what I truly mean.  It sounds very simple yet is extremely difficult.  It sounds tough but is actually quite rewarding.  My hope is that with an equal blend of kindness, fairness, and honesty I can say what is in my heart.  My hope is that as I age and my time on this planet gets less and less, I stand tall in my own self worth and my own value.  My hope is that as I choose my words in matters that matter, I am kind, and fair, and honest.  I have earned the right to say no, to disagree, to have an opinion.  I choose to say what I mean, and mean what I say.  Kindly.  Fairly.  Honestly.

Think on that.  And try not to be so easily offended.  Maybe when you hear words that are unsettling, it comes from someone trying to say what they mean and mean what they say.  Maybe they’re learning.  Ask them.  Did they intend to offend, or intend to be honest.  And if you’ve got this all down pat then kudos to you.  Keep up the good work and help those around you by not throwing curve balls.  Do unto others….as they say.

Again, think on it.  Doing or saying what’s in your heart is not always second nature.  We tend to do or say what we think our loved ones want us to do or say. There is the power within each of us to practice new things.  Hmmmmm…..

That’s what I mean, so I said it.  Amen.

And go forth with Peace.  It’s such a wondrous thing.

http://www.janetriccobono.com/2012/11/27/say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say/#comment-33

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One Response to “Say What You Mean…Mean What You Say”

  1. Janet Says:

    Kristine & Molly,

    Thank you for sharing my blog post on your site. It’s an honor to be here, as it was meeting you both and all those exceptional women we spent time with at WAW 2012. It certainly does take a village and having you believe in me and help me build is quite a treasure. Thank you for your kind words.
    Bless you both.


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